Come, the table's full

Are you familiar with the story of the Shoulder Angel? From a hundred legendary non canonical books and comics. Usually, it gives you unsolicited advice coated with moral sagacity. Basically, it's that annoying do-goody conscience who tells the protagonist not to have fun. Unlike other myths, I do believe in this one, and I'm guilty of admitting that I have one too. And since the real estate situation is interestingly fucked up everywhere, the Angel and I have to bunk together these days in my clogged mind.

It was all fun and games until one day she told me she needed some stuff. Not every day that your inner monologue sends out a grocery list. And you're not worried because it didn't include duct tapes, ropes or a chainsaw. Instead, the list had a dozen chairs, a banner, a rectangle table and some snacks. No sweat, I'll just pull these from the hammerspace. Wait, was someone having a party?

Finally, for a change, we'll be having a nice dream tonight. Maybe replay that house party I went to a couple of years ago from my memory projector. Anyways, the party looked weird when I came in. Angel was there with a dozen other people. Versions of myself dressed variously. Like that Taylor Swift song and Halloween had a baby.

There was the coffee table that was literally my brainchild and oh a banner which read In-inter Intervention.

"Well, we've all been waiting for you" and there was Angel, host of the clone army.

"What? What did I do now? Is this about my alcohol problem? I swear I'll cut down on drinking, you know with work an." Was that me panicking?

"No, it's not that, I mean not just that" Worse then.

"Its obvious that they're YOU, and since you have no self-actualisation, they wanted to have THE talk. Let's start with our first guest."

Knee-high socks, oversized glasses and sweatshirt, there she was, a messy version of myself. That's how I look okay.

Angel why'd you capsize THE?

"Reporting from July 15th 2021. You couldn't sleep and wanted to write something. Not for anyone but for yourself. You had some ideas pouring in and you thought of making notes. You had your laptop, and about 15 unused journals. So Why didn't you write? Dare you tell us you didn't have the energy because that excuse was covered last week when you decided you'd write a letter to your friend on his birthday. What's it this time? Why are you afraid of being honest?"

Oh boy. I need a drink.

"Is she kidding?" someone from the crowd ieered.

I might have said that out loud. With a face straighter than a honeymoon dick, Angel moved on to the

next me.

This one gets up, dressed in that black dress that I never wore, all dolled up, pretty. So makeup looks pretty until it's tested by my motor skills. Noted.

"Reporting from May 5th, 2021. You know I- we were waiting for that date for ages, right? Why'd you chicken out? I thought we liked that guy? Only 5 red flags! Do you know how rare that is? we were supposed to have drinks and sushi that night"

''Oh, but we did have wine and sushi that night"

"Getting Takeaways and binging your favourite horror shows ALONE doesn't count as a date asshat. Besides, what about the ditch your date part??" Oh. I do remember now.

Drink up.

Great is the shoulder devil doing a cameo too.

"Anyways, next" As Angel called out the next one I noticed how pissed this

one looked.

"Reporting from two different incidents and accounts, it's regarding the

women she dates your honour-"

"I'm not a judge," Angel sighed.

"Why doesn't she stand up to the women who treat her badly in a relationship? Why wouldn't she tell them they left her in sackcloth and ashes? Oh and moreover what's this obsession with dating narcissists your honour? do you guys know she still follows them on Spotify?"

"Still not a judge but okay we heard you and guys, ex-girlfriends are covered so next please'' Angel announced.

I saw this one getting up with a huge list in her hands.

"This is about your habit of running. Away. Why do you have to fly the coop with a slight sight of inconvenience"

Jesus, preposterous accusations!!

"Right, is that a mere coincidence that whenever you feel unfulfilled from one relationship, you try to overcompensate with the others? Like If you have trouble with getting your friends' love and attention, you go and pimp yourself out to get a million new friends? What do you plan on doing with so many friends any ways? People cannot be rebounds! Have you tried confronting your close ones for once in your life? We're your consciences, not your shrinks, we shouldn't be worrying about this stuff for you. We shouldn't be asking you as to Why the fuck are you spontaneously combusting your career"

finally she took a breath.

"Hey, I was supposed to cover the career part" someone complained but the room was simmering down to silence.

Too far, asshole.

Can't believe I called myself that. I saw a couple of them folding their speeches and keeping them back

in their pockets. The room read as if someone has been shot dead in the middle of an

opera show. If I wasn't in this unreal pipe dream setting I'd be crying the Nile like

a Banker in 2008.

"This was a bad idea" Angel tells me "I almost forgot that you and I, well we all were inherently mean and this couldn't have gone any differently. I think you should go to sleep or wake up, or whatever Idk how your stupid mind works."

The second hand embarrassment of course.

I finally woke up, observing the actual silence of my apartment. Some trashy pop playlists might help me uncrowd my mind. Oh, while I'm at it, let's unfollow.

Happy?

Their questions met me at the crossroads. No matter how much I wanted this to be an unyielding argument from my side, it still came out to be toneless bawls.

Yes, I want to bend over backwards with my writing, but what if no one reads? What if I'm yelling at the wrong planets?

Yes I want to tell the ex-girlfriends they deserve a special place in hell right near the peeling machines but I've pretended to be this kind' person for so long that sadly now I've become one, In practice.

Yes, I want to go on a hundred dates and not ghost people if only I wasn't afraid of the complimentary assaults that come on the house.

Yes I want to mend my life's clockworks if I had the energy.

Yes, I'd love to burn the white flag and hold fear by its neck (read balls) to finally squint outside the dark tints.

And yes that day perhaps Angel would throw me an actual party.